I really should update this thing more often...

....I've been really slack lately and I thought I'd better fill you all in on what's been going on. A lot of you would know bits and pieces of what I'm about to post, so just skim through what you already know.

October 15th, 2005
I signed a lease on a house with Angus and my best friend Anna. I hadn't been able to take time off work to look at places and since Angus was unemployed, he'd been looking at places. Anna had looked at the place and seemed happy with it, so I figured that if she thought it was ok, it would be alright. Dumb move, i know
A month before the lease was signed, both Anna and Angus got kicked out of their houses and had been living at friends' houses, so our plans of finding a place became a lot more rushed and urgent. Angus and I had been fighting a lot and I had put it down to the fact that he was stressed out about being homeless and that things would be alright once we found a place. Anyway, the morning we were going to sign the lease, Anna called me and said she hadn't managed to put away quite enough money to cover her 3rd of the $800 bond plus the first 2 weeks rent we had to pay when we signed the lease, so she asked if I could pay the difference and she'd pay me back. I did it, knowing I'd get the money off her. We all met up at the train station, went into the real estate agents' office, handed over our cheques & money orders and signed the lease. We then walked to the house. The outside of the house looked kinda shabby, but being a rental property I knew it wasn't going to be great.
Angus decided he was going to a public phone to make some calls about getting the electricity connected. Anna and I then decided to go through the house and fill out our copy of the Condition Report which the agent had given us. This was to confirm that the house was in the condition that it was left in after the last tenants had gone and to show if the house was damaged by us during our tenancy. Looking around, I realised I had made a huge mistake. The house was fucking disgusting. The kitchen hadn't been cleaned by the last tenants before they left. There was sticky stuff on the kitchen counter, the griller in the stove was dirty, there were 2 rotting onions in one of the cupboards, there were corn kernels on the floor. The bathroom was even worse. There was spots of blood on the vanity, the shower had really mould on the wall, there was filth in the bath and the toilet looked like it had never been cleaned. Anna's room had a hole in the wall near the ceiling from where the roof must've been leaking. There were water marks on the wall under the hole. The carpet was dirty. When Angus came back, we told him it'd be a while before we'd be able to move in because the house was filty. He took one quick look around the house and asked what was wrong with it. On my way home, I realised that there was no way I'd ever be happy living there and that I had stopped loving Angus quite a while before but had refused to admit it to myself. I broke up with him the following day.
On Monday, I went down to the agent to see if I could get my name off the lease. They said I had to write a letter saying that I would like my name taken off the lease and that Anna and Angus agreed to it and to get it signed by them and bring it back. My parents and I went around to where Angus was staying to get him to sign it. He tried to get me to talk things over with him, saying everything would be ok once we moved in and everything had settled down. I told him it wasn't going to be ok and that I was sick of him bullying me and trying to control my life, which he had been doing ever since we first slept together. He said he'd only been treating me badly over the house thing because I'd been reluctant to tell my parents about it and he was frustrated because he and Anna "needed my co-operation". What they needed was, in fact, my money. Without that and my steady employment history, there's no way they would have been approved for a lease. We all agreed that we would all pay a third of the rent until they found someone to replace me.

December 2005
One morning I saw Angus at my local train station. He got off the train which gets there before mine. He was walking around the platform looking for me then got on my train. I felt so unnerved by it that I got off at a different station to the one I usually do once I got to the city incase he decided to follow me to work. The week before Christmas, he called me and told me that his friend Gina had put in an application to replace me on the lease and that they were waiting to hear back from the agent who would let them know if the landlord had approved Gina or not.
The friday before Christmas he turned up at the metal club I go to. My friend and I moved to another part of the club to get away from him because I felt uncomfortable and he followed us. This happened more than once.

January 2006

After hearing nothing from anybody, I made a call to the agent this Friday. They'd heard nothing from the landlord. Yesterday I went down to the agent and asked what was taking them so long. the woman who was supposed to be our property manager said she'd given the application to a colleague to handle because she couldn't make the landlord understand what we wanted done. How hard could it be? It's not rocket science. My mum asked if there was someone else we could speak to who was in a position of management. The managers were out of the office until Monday but my property manager said she'd call the landlord that day and let me know. 15 minutes later, my parents and I were just going to the mall when the property manager called me and said she'd spoken to the landlord and he'd agreed to approve Gina's application. She'd also spoken to Angus and said that he was going to call them on tuesday to arrange a date for Gina, Anna and himself to go in and sign a new lease. After that happens, all i have to do is sign a few things then i'm free! I can finally think of applying for a loan for a car.

And so ends my 3 months of hell. I know I was stupid for signing a lease without looking at the house first. This has been a really expensive mistake for me, and one I will never make again
  • Current Music
    White Moon- The White Stripes


I'm in a really fucked up place right now.

Anna, Angus and I applied for this house to rent on the weekend.

I had tried to send an email to my old boss regarding something and asked her if she could write me a reference for this house. She didn't get the email, so without thinking I called mum and asked her to send it again for me. My mum knew nothing about the application and she when she read it she hit the roof.

I had all good intentions of sitting down and discussing this with my parents tomorrow (Tuesday) because today is their wedding anniversary. and i didn't want to ruin it. Mum said I was sneaky...I didn't mean to be

Mum wouldn't have a problem with me moving in with anyone else but Angus because he's unemplolyed at the moment. But it's not like it would be just the 2 of us paying the rent.

Maybe I should never have gone back to Angus after I broke up with him in February...the thought of leaving him breaks my heart but as long as I'm with him I'm going to have this extremely strained relationship with my mother that hurts like hell. She and I used to be so close...I miss it so much and I desperately want to get it back.

To make things even more difficult, we got approved for the house
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed

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LJ Interests meme results

  1. anne rice:
    My favourite author. I've read most of her books. To those of you who have't seen the film "Queen of the Damned" DON'T BOTHER!!! Just read the book...the movie doesn't do it justice.
  2. brian molko:
    Ah, the cute little ladyboy frontman of Placebo. Easily has one of the best pairs of eyes I've ever seen on a man...the mascra probably helps.
  3. disturbed:
    American rock band that absolutely kickass...they had a track on the Queen of the Damned soundtrack (the only thing that saves that movie) called "Down with the Sickness"
  4. gene simmons:
    The driving force behind clasic rock band KISS. An egomaniac and a bit of sleaze (i've met him) but his Demon persona is my second-fave member of the band.
  5. johnny depp:
    If you don't kow why,k you don't know me that well. My fave actor ever since I first saw Edward Scissorhands about 13 years ago. And yes, I'll admit to being sad enough to have stayed up late in he rast to watch 21 Jump Street re-runs
  6. lord of the rings:
    Classic literature...enough said.
  7. moulin rouge:
    Fantastic movie. I love Baz Luhrmann. It's so...colourful, as are Baz' other productions
  8. ozzy osbourne:
    Prince of Darkness, rock legend...I'm not worthy!!!
  9. pink floyd:
    Have been blowing my mind for years...there will ever be another band like them.
  10. skid row:
    80's hair rock lol. They're kinda cheesy but i like them. Sebastian Bach was HOT

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.

  • Current Music
    So Long Marianne - Leonard Cohen


This thought popped into my head yesterday while I was waiting for a train home from work:

What if the world was a stage and we were all actors from birth, put on the Earth for the sole purpose of entertaining God or whatever divine beings we choose to belive in? Perhaps before we are born, we are given roles to play and scripts to learn, completely memorising them before we make our grand entrance onto the stage of life...
  • Current Music
    Siva - Smashing Pumpkins


Bah! The one year I watch BB and the person I was rooting for lost. Tim is totally the guy my mum would want me to go out with lol.

This time next week, I'll be old. Yes, little Angie is turning the big 21 on August 22

Home again...

It just couldn't last...

On Saturday, my parents and Angus finally talked things over when Angus came around with his friend to get my stuff. I was so relieved.

Sunday, my first full day living with Angus was (b)GREAT(/b). I was the happiest I'd been in months and was looking forward to this new stage of my life.

By Monday night it was all over. Angus met me at the train station after work and told me that his stepdad, George was thereatening to leave if Angus didn;t leave.
Angus and George haven't talked much for a while, but rather than say anything, George decided to stew about it rather than try and sort things out.

Anyway, Angus' mum, Michelle asked Angus to leave. I'm in 2 minds about it. It's a shitty thing to do but George is the father of Angus' 8 year old half-sister Eve. I can see where Michelle is coming from there.

What upset me the most about it all was that some "unnamed" family member told Michelle they had supposedly seen me performing oral sex on Angus on the couch. Any of you who know me well would know that I have enough respect for other people not to do that.

Tuesday morning I came to the conclusion that I couldn't stand to be in a house where people think I'm some sort of cheap whore, not to mention the constant tension between Gus and George. By Tuesday night more than one person was claiming I'd been doing lewd things. I don't know who it is. Angus seems to think it's either George or his grandfather, who hates him. Neither of them know me that well but they've obviously figured out that the best way to hurt Angus is through me. I feel extremely insulted and I can't shake this feeling of being ashamed of something I haven't even done.
When I told Gus my decision to leave, he said even though he really needed me, he understood.

To make things even more complicated, Angus propsed to me on Tuesday night. It wasn't something I was expecting. I feel awful because my reaction was "Why'd you have to say it now, babe?". I love him so much but we're nowhere near ready for that.

Today (Wednesday) I packed my stuff and dad came around this afternoon and we went back home.

I hope Gus gets a job soon so we can get a place of our own...

Alice Cooper = God

Had quite a busy weekend.

Friday night I went out with the girls I get the train to work with and my good friend Colleen. I got hit on by a drunk old fart who wouldn't get the hint that I wasn't interested until Colleen told him I was engaged to be married (I'm not but he backed off right after that).

On Saturday night I went to Sean's place for drinks with Angus and Anna. I actually managed to get myself so drunk that I had a hangover yesterday morning. This is a rare thing for me...damn vodka.

Last night I went and saw ALICE COOPER at Penrith Panthers. It was SOOOOOOO incredible. I've been an A.C fan since I was 7, so to see him somewhere that's local to me was just HUGE. He still puts on a kickass rock n roll show for an older man. I took pics but my camera fucked up :( I'll have to see if they turn out.

I have a cold...ugh

Hmm...that's me updated
  • Current Music
    Department of Youth - Alice Cooper